Managing Transitions
It is easy to be surprised
at our reaction to a new job or a new situation. We may think there
is something wrong in finding
it difficult.
Understand it this way. You start in an area where there are some clear definitions about who you are,
what you do, what success looks like etc. You also have some clear and unchallenged
assumptions about the way the world is, what's good and what's bad. Then something
happens that dissolves those definitions and challenges those assumptions. It
happens from babyhood on: the new baby, going to school, adolescence, getting
a job etc. The loss of definitions and the challenging of those assumptions puts
us in a funny state: insecure, vulnerable, very wobbly. "Who am I?" as
well as in a state of anticipation with a sense of potential.
This intermediate state is a kind of 'No-person's land'; the skill
is in managing that state so that we don't either cling too tightly to the old
state or rush too desperately to a new state. Value the transition,
live with the discomfort, and good things will happen.
The main thing is to find some way of being active in the situation without
trying to solve it straightaway.This means finding something which helps you manage the discomfort: doing yoga regularly, taking Alexander
technique lessons - anything which helps you maintain a sense of balance. If
you would like more information or references about the subject, you can email
me from the contact section of this web site.
It is still worth looking at "Passages: The Predictable Crises of Adult
Life" by Gail Sheehy " She has some useful idea and her newer book "New Passages: mapping your life across time"