Emotional pain

It is normal for life to seem tough, at least a part of the time. Experiencing emotional distress and heartache is not pathological; but the choices that we make when they hit us make the difference between a life lived to the full and one skated over.

By heartache I mean the exaggerated pain that is stronger than the circumstances might suggest; although it's emotional, it feels like a physical pain. It strikes when you experience being left out, not valued, let down, as well as when you are in love; for example when sons and daughters forget your birthday .... when "he" or "she" doesn't ring.... when you're the one not invited...when the job suddenly goes without warning.... when the lover is gone (who you didn't think you cared for that much but now miss terribly).... even when you realise you're not the young or fit person you remember yourself as. This is not the pain of actual bereavement or appropriate remorse, although there are some resonances and similarities.

Different ways work for different people. I want to develop ways of understanding that help a person to make some sense of what is going on, and to have the power to improve things for themselves, based on what real people have found valuable.

Here are some topics from a book I am working on:

Emily's story: the hurt of a long-term illness, and how she coped.
Jean's story: staying real with a difficult daughter and how it worked out.
Vijay's story: Allowing yourself time

Jane's story: working it out with step-children
Peter's story: losing the job I was secure in

Louise's story: painting it out of myself and then back in.
Gideon's story: "Nobody likes me"- coping with isolation and rejection